Craving Constellations - Nicole Jacquelyn

Craving Constellations by Nicole Jacquelyn    Amazon.it
 Brenna is the Aces's Vice President's daughter, a motorcycle club. She's going to college and can't wait to graduate and start a fresh and new life far away from there. She doesn't want this life for her: dating a biker, worring day and night for him to do something illegal, visiting him in prison for years because eventually they would get him. She wants stability, a classical normal life.

During a party at the compound, she meets Dragon, a biker who just got recruited. He's dangerous, rough and arrogant. He needs only a kiss to get her more excited than she's ever been in her life. Even though she doesn't want anything to do with this people, she lets herself go and spend with him an amazing night. After the tons of sex they had, they talk....like real talk. Chemistry is a fact but they also discover how good they are for each other. Dragon, who never chases a woman, was dazzled by Brenna and wants to explore this with her, spending time with her and maybe, when the time is right, put a ring on her finger.

Ops! Seems I forgot to mention something important....is not allowed for recruiters to have sexual intercourse, any kind of intercourse, with The Daughter of the President.....or The Vice President.

Unfortunately, Brenna didn't have the chance to tell it to Dragon. In the early morning, before leaving, she would have told him but her dad arrived and she had to run away.

Five year passed, Dragon never saw that girl again, the only one who could create a future with, a family. She vanished, so he just keeps going on with his life until the day she comes back. He watches her climbing off her car and searching for someone eyes, Poet's ( The Vice President ). She's not the same: she's weak, physically hurt so much she faint in Poet's arms. Wait a minute, how did she call him? Pop??? and who's the baby girl in her car??? she's kind of look familiar.....she looks like.....Dragon!!

Brenna wants a different life from which Dragon can offer to her.

“I wanted a husband who paid taxes and would take his car to a mechanic for routine maintenance. he wouldn't get his hands dirty, wouldn't raise his voice, and wouldn't carry a gun.” 

She doesn't want worry for him all the time, if he's doing something wrong or doing "something" with someone else. Bikers keeps old ladies, an equilant for wife, but never say no to bitches, an equivalent for skank. To be faithful is not "easy" for them. She saw it with her own eyes, her father is one of them, the vice president of this motorcycle club. He's irish but ran away from that country for his activities....they don't talk about that. To her is a beloved father, who goes to her ballet classes as a little girl, is always proud of her, she just doesn't want to know about his dark side. He also teached her what means to live among bikers, their rules, the violence and, even though there are people who she cares for, she doesn't feel connected to it, she wants something more. That night with Dragon, all these thoughts went in the toilet, she followed him with en empty mind, an easy mind....it was better if she rememberd telling him who she was though... but was too scared in the morning and ran away. Later, she made several decisions that brought only pain and loneliness in her life. Ironically, that made her find the way home.

“How could someone make decision after decision attempting to get away from their past and somehow end up right back where they were started?” 

She's broken and suffered too much pain I don't know how she keeps going on and on. Panic and terror make her change in someone she doesn't recognize anymore. When she returns to the place she thought was wrong for her, she realized how right is instead. Brenna find a place where she can peacefully blossom.

“We were his. It was as terrifying and as simple as that.” 

Dragon, is a nickname btw!!, always wanted a family. He finds that among his brothers but he also wants another kind of a family, he was sure he wouldn't find the right woman for him out there. Brenna was the perfect exception. When he sees her for the first time, he doesn't think, almost doesn't speak before kissing her. It was sudden and uncontrallable, but so right. When he wakes up the next morning he realizes he lost his chance. Seeing her again was somenthing he thought impossible, but more, seeing her broken and full of secrets, makes him very angry. He wants to hate her but he can't. He's drown to her like their first time. Little by little, things are coming on surface and he's still mad but wants to move on, with her. Dragon shows her prejudices was wrong, his is different. He is what she always wanted from a man: control, protectiveness, passion and care. He creates the right place where she can feel safe and be herself again.

“Yeah, okay, Brenna. You wanna pretend like you and me aren’t what we are, that’s fine. I’m not gonna pretend. I’m not takin’ your bullshit either. Baby, I’ve been waitin’ five years for you. That shit’s never gone away. So, you can bitch and moan and make your own life miserable, or you can suck it the fuck up and get on the same page with me. I’m not goin’ anywhere.” 

I really liked this Book, it may be a "romance" novel but it's not like a walk in the park, what Brenna lived is beyond stressfull to read but you know there must be an happy ending so you keep on reading. Style-wise it was very pleasant, easy english, not to much dialogues, so fluent you could end it in one night!!

I love "biker romance" ( don't know if it is the official term ), they are so free and still want to belong to a family. They want to breathe easy, don't feel the pressure of the everyday life routine but still want to be part of a club with a President and rules. It's a contradiction I find endearing, generally bikers are running from an heavy past or a family who don't feel connected with, now they run to a new family with brothers who would care of them and viceversa. They still need rules, they so wild they could lost themselves, the president figure is like the polar star, without it they wouldn't know where home is.

I like to read of this kind of family, a weird one, but still a family.There's a brotherhood you don't find anywhere else.  

“That was the best thing about this club and something I'd always craved growing up. You might fuck up, but the brothers wouldn't ever act like you weren't welcome. They'd punish you, but then it would be over, forgotten. You'd be back in the fold.”